Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Backwards shirt and the phone call

Well, first off, could someone (Robert, Tom Scholl, Tom G.) make this little box that you type in bigger. Damn, I'd even write the code for you, it would take all of two seconds. Just tell me where to FTP it up to.

Ack. Sorry. I'm not mad, just had a hell of a day today. Me and my EBT card (Massachusetts food stamps) went grocery shopping today. Yes, I'll say it: I'm poor. Really seriously poor. (But I'll live on tuna fish and ginger ale to keep up my high-speed connnection! sheesh.)

Walking around the store, shopping away, and I started noticing little specks of, what, is that, lint? on my black shirt. I started randomly picking at them, when I realized, right in the middle of the frozen foods, that my shirt was on backwards...and inside out, to boot Now when you find yourself in this sort of situation, you have a variety of options.

1)Freak the hell out, and start tearing at your shirt. Best not done in public, especially in Massachusetts, where the police are, shall we say, viligent, about citizens behaving like citizens at all times. (It's a New England Puritan thing, you wouldn't understand.)

2) Behave as normally as possible, whilst trying to take off and turn around and put your shirt on again. In public. Again, not advisable, for the above mentioned police proclivites.

3. Ignore it, buy the cheap damn grape jelly and bread that you are going to live for the next couple of weeks, and book it. (i.e.--scram, vamooose, get the heck outta dodge, like that there.

Which is what I did (I know that's not a proper sentence, you can grade me later, since noone is reading this anyway.) I got my shit and caught the bus (oh yeah, being poor means you have no car, either).

And came home...just in time to catch Tom doing a technical rehearsal (sorry Tom, you may not call it that, but that's what it is.)

Tom was cool, as usual, trying to get advertisers, and talking about how being nice is not really good on a phone-in show all the time. Tom, I for one agree with you on this one. You seriously should write an article on how "Nice is the new Boring" or something to that effect, and send it in to, say, Wired Magazine. You'd get publicity, publication, and maybe sponsorship. (um, I'd even write the article for you...e-mail me, we'll talk) Only half-joking there. Maybe my Master's degree would actually be useful. (See, I'm not only the poorest Deputy, I'm probably the one with the highest education as well.)

Then, after hearing Tom talk about the "National Internet" in what I thought was a serious way, I called him, and basically said "um, it's the World Wide Web...why not talk about it being international?" Tom basically said (from what I could hear, it sounded like he was in a tiny room, millions of miles away, whispering) "international includes national, right, RIGHT??? I got you, I got you..." And we all had a good laugh at my expense.

Technically, if you want to micro-manage the definition, yes, Tom, you're right, I'm wrong. That why you have a house in the Hollywood hills with a pool and lovely animals and I, well, don't.

The ability to make a salient point doesn't really overcome the ability to make a good laugh.

But then again, I can't even put my shirt on right.